I'm so cold today. I really do hate cold weather. I just finished adding some of the photos from my recent photo shoot with Mike but he's working on the best ones still so as soon as he's done with them, I will post those in my albums that are MEANT TO BE FOR MY FRIENDS ONLY!!!

My meeting went really well today, I have to do something for a project real soon and I have to find a model for that particular project.

My former master wanted me to go to his Dojo last night to work out with him and guests from a school in Old Orchard Beach but I was too exhausted and really drained after dealing with all that ridiculous crap but that's alright, things worked out just FINE.

I talked to my sister yesterday and today again. I have to try to call my cousin Mariluccie soon, I'll try Mari ok? thank you for your sweet comment previously here! I miss you so much too!

I might write later.

****11:56 p.m. Those of you who have known all the things I've been going through for a long time, know that I have suffered so much and that I have a million reasons to hate him and he has 0 to hate me. You know I have let my love do what love is supposed to do, to forgive and turn the other cheek, to try to have patience, to try to understand even the inexplicable but I have felt so many emotions ranging from the most agonizing pain, sadness, emptiness, disappointment, feeling blindsided, astonished because of things he accused me of and I really have nothing to do with but I have a feeling who is behind that...but he didn't care to listen...regardless of all that, because of who I am, the type of person I am...someone with deep honor, integrity, honesty and perhaps a big heart, I just couldn't hate him...believe me I wanted to but I couldn't because unlike him, I meant every single word I said to him when I said I loved him deeply and I gave everything of me that I had never given to anyone else before. But right now, I feel upset and I feel anger because I didn't deserve any of this or this kind of treatment and such disregard and disrespect for my life because I am after all, a human being!

yep its me sweetie, sorry i havent had a chance to call you or write but you know how things are down here. this dipshit doesnt stop pissing me off with his bullshit. i really hope you dont buy that shit for a minute because you know damn well your a beautiful, classy and tasteful lady and hes just being an asshole and trust me, im pretty sure they think so there so no worries.i have to agree with your friend Lori on what she said about him always looking at your photos and spanking it while looking at them hah hah!i know, crude but hey hes so full of shit is not even funny because your the most beautiful, sensual and sexy woman that loser is ever gonna have.hell i know maine damn well and your the prettiest woman there and to top it all, your beautiful inside too!i was so glad i got to see you again sorry my visit was so short but i will get back there soon i hope. glad to hear you will have a visitor soon!have fun and enjoy your friends' company i know you 2 have been friends for a long time now and i think its really cool of him to go visit you to keep your mind off all this bullshit. i do know your still grieving and that it still effects you and im so sorry about that. remember all your friends love you and care about you because we know what a beautiful person you are. bob is a pea brain for sure hes got to be crazy to let you go. btw your new photos are amazing, i thought they were very artsy and tasteful and i could see what you were trying to portray, your eyes, expressions said it...kinda sad in a way too, the longing ones that is but i understand your expressions because i know you so well.beautiful sweetie, really beautiful and i know all of us think so!miss you